They Should Have Used A Different Font

Every so often a handout or document published by a library comes across my desk that makes me squint or shake my head. The problem is frequently with bad design, colors, or layout. Many times the problem is when the author, trying to be cute or unique, decides to use a fancy font.

They Just Screwed My Childhood. S**t Happens.

“Shit happens” is a common slang phrase, used as a simple existential observation that life is full of imperfections, either “Así es la vida” or “C’est la vie”. The phrase is an acknowledgment that bad things happen to people for no particular reason. Phrases with similar meaning are such as “stuff happens” or “it happens” and are considered minced oath forms. “Stuff happens, don’t it? Stuff happens.”

A Bear And A Rabbit Taking A Crap In The Forest

A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit
“Does shit stick to your fur as a habit?”
“Of course not,” said the hare,
“It’s really quite rare!”
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

I Finally Did It! I Lit My Fart On fire!!!

Fart lightning or pyroflatulence is the practice of igniting the gases produced by human flatulence, often producing a flame of a blue hue, hence the act being known colloquially as a “blue angel”, or in Australia, a “blue flame”. The fact that flatus is flammable, and the actual combustion of it through this practice, gives rise to much humourous derivation. Other colors of flame such as orange and yellow are possible with the color dependent on the mixture of gases formed in the colon.

Although there is little scientific discourse on the combustive properties of flatus, there are many anecdotal accounts of flatus ignition and the activity has increasingly found its way into popular culture with references in comic routines, movies, and television; including cartoons.

Surprise Twins In Delivery Room?

Everyone is in shock. It’s intense to expect one baby and get two. I am so proud of my friend and so so so glad that she never had a u/s. If she had had one, she’d never have been able to have a home birth, or to go to 41 weeks, 3 days. . . the only downside medically is that since she didn’t know she was having twins, she didn’t eat extra protein or anything like that. She was spilling a lot of protein into her urine at the end. The babies are on the smaller side–6-13 and a little over 5 lbs. My friend lost a lot of blood, but she is seeming like she’s getting better.

Stunning Kingfisher Dives Underwater To Catch Fish

Kingfishers inhabit slow-moving, shallow rivers or streams which are clean enough to support abundant small fish. Fast-moving streams and polluted waters do not contain enough available fish, and hence do not contain kingfishers. Branches overhanging shallows make essential fishing perches.

Kingfishers eat mainly fish, chiefly minnows and sticklebacks, but they also take aquatic insects, freshwater shrimps and tadpoles etc to top up their diet. They prefer fish about 23 mm in length, but can handle anything up to 80mm long.
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Pringles = Justice, Lays = Injustice

Most Terrifying Mountain Bike Trail On Earth

I would absolutely NOT do this. All the accolades to those that do. I do not understand how absolutely no one has fallen at least once, just from over thinking it. My bikes have thrown be curveballs while riding slow on flat pavement on WIDE city streets. What a fantastic picture of a drooling death trap.

Just as neat is the info about the wind blowing upwards,not outwards,though I seriously doubt without the hand of God,that if I fell,I’d be blown back onto the ledge.

Did I forget to mention !!!?!!!

Parrot Trying To Rape A Tennis Ball

It Is The Early Worm That Gets Caught

I have a little problem with the popular saying regarding the early bird getting the worm. My girl friend rephrased it as, it’s the early worm that gets caught. First and foremost, is that baiting enough to encourage one to make do with less sleep? Is it sufficient reward as you wake up bleary-eyed, wondering if it was worth the effort of hauling yourself out of bed merely to win some dubious brownie points?

More often than not you find yourself shortchanged. However much I may disagree over the advantages of being an early bird, I think I was born with a premature sense of timing, always ready well before time and then having to endure the long wait for others who are time-challenged. I have tried my best to cure myself of this habit but it’s too deeply ingrained. My body clock insists on never letting me down.

One hears about the virtues of early to bed and early to rise which supposedly inculcate wisdom and good health. I beg to differ. The only quality I have seen emerge from indulging in such behavior is grumpiness and a disinclination to converse in anything but grunts. Waking up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed is obviously too much to ask for.

So, you get up early and try to convince yourself that the long day stretching before you is rich with diverse possibilities.

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